A bad day again.

Well it took about 2 months, but I am in the same boat I was in before Christmas. Why? Well it has been building up for a couple of weeks now. To cut a long story short: I've been upset that You have not accepted me back into your life fully. I know you have lots of new friends and commitments, but you could find time to fit me in. How on earth do you think I feel about you going off to another mans house on your own? Look, I know that it is difficult for you to tell your parents,about me being back in your life, but it is hard for me to deal with. You said last night and this morning that you only took me back because you felt sorry for me. Is that true? I embarrass you, do I?

I didn't know what to expect when I came back. I was walking on eggshells for a while. Knowing that I can get chucked out is not a nice feeling. After what happened to me in Swindon: I really wanted you to love me again and do things together that we both enjoyed. Getting a job is something I am proud of. You told me you were proud of me. I am proud of you getting a job too. Things are definitely looking up on that front aren't they? When I get a full time job things will be very different, money will not be such an issue any more, and we can do some "nice things" and have fun.

I am sorry I lost it last night. You had every right to be horrible back to me. I just want you to understand me and I wish you could see things from my side. It makes me sad thinking that you don't want to or can't be bothered.

I am Sorry though.

What is the point? It's a trap.

Things are tough and I never expected life to be easy, but black dog has visited me again...

In 2001 my life came crashing down. I suppose the rot set in before that; who knows? 2001 was the year that things came to a head and I embarked on a trip into the very strange.

Once upon a time I was a soldier with a home, a wife, and 2 lovely children whom I cherished. That life ended, I became a parent without care, living back at my parents house again. I had wanted to have a full career in the army, but it circumstances put paid to that. So, there I was, out on a wing.

Now I was of the old school and understood that I had a responsibility for the welfare of my children. I had arranged, with my ex, to keep contact with them regularly. Before I left the marital home my ex told me, explicitly, that she would never stop me from seeing my children. I will never forget what she said - I was in the bath at the time. One year later (and several thousands of pounds lighter) I was in a living HELL of complete madness.

A loving parent who is cut off from their children by the law and a vindictive mother is in a living hell. What happened to me has happened to many other parents under similar circumstances. I tried to look up why mothers decide to cut all contact with the fathers of their children. Interestingly there was an article on this called Parental Alienation Syndrome; my ex-wife and her mother fitted the bill to a tea.

The problem, at the time - and probably still now - is, that the entire system is geared up for the mother. As soon as a mother with care decides to stop contact you are fucked. The mother needs only a spurious excuse to stop contact - mine was because my eldest daughter had fallen over and hurt her knee. Once contact is stopped the judicial system then comes into action and you lose.

The judicial system fails the father because firstly: The time it takes to process the case is so long that your absence from the children's lives becomes entrenched with the mother. Secondly, the costs concerned are hefty when you have to use a lawyer. Lastly the system does not uphold its decisions with punishment for breaking its own orders.

Eventually I did get a contact order, this was a legal document that made it clear that my children would be known by my surname and that I would be able to have them every other week-end. Within 2 weeks of this court order being issued I saw my eldest daughters face on the local newspaper with her mothers maiden name. Within 8 months all contact was stopped (because of the incident where my eldest fell over) and I was completely up shit creek. I was in a mad place and the system was exposed for the load of bollocks it is.

When my ex stopped contact I went back to the courts. I wanted them to force my ex to abide by the order that they had placed on her. The courts told me to go back to my solicitor and start an "enforcement of contact order" action. When I researched the internet (on cases like mine) I became aware of full horror of the position I was in. The stories I heard about were pure nightmares and I became instantly depressed. So I was already in debt of several thousand pounds (through the initial action to obtain a contact order) and now they system was forcing me to become more in debt (by going to my solicitor again) to fight for something that was supposed to have been granted by the court - legal defence for my ex was being funded by the taxpayer. How on earth is this right and just?

Reading the heartbreaking stories of other fathers on the Internet is what broke me. During the period when I was granted contact, it was obvious that my children were being coached into hating me by their mother which was classic Parental Alienation Syndrome. I thought about it hard and decided that for the sake of my children I would have to give up. My ex would never accept me in their lives and the system would re-enforce her position at every turn.

My situation now became like a living bereavement where you are constantly paying for a funeral through the Child Support Agency. I said fuck it and dropped out.

Local News: New Labour, egg on face.

From the Reading Post

Red light for 'green' bio-ethanol buses

By Linda Fort
October 15, 2009

A green transport project hit a red light today as it was revealed that bio-ethanol buses were not running on fuel from sugar beet waste.

Reading borough councillors have launched an investigation into how they and the Reading Transport Board – which runs Reading Buses – could have been deceived.

The failure of the flagship venture will cause considerable political embarrassment to the leading Labour group which has used the project to boost its green credentials.

Despite repeated public statements that 14 Reading Buses on the Premier Route 17 were being run on bio-ethanol fuel made from sugar beet grown in Norfolk, in fact they have been running on fuel made from wood pulp imported from Sweden.

Deputy leader of the council Councillor Tony Page said: “It would appear that the council has been grossly misled over this issue and I have instigated an investigation as to why and how this has happened, given the assurances that were provided to the council and the Reading Transport Board about the source of the fuel.”

Chief executive of Reading Buses James Freeman added: “I fully welcome a thorough investigation into this matter and will do all I can to contribute in order to establish the background and circumstances around which this decision was made with no reference to myself, the board or the shareholder.”

Reading Transport Limited runs Reading Buses and is wholly-owned by Reading Borough Council.

If the council can't get it right, it's a bit of a joke really.

The UAF are Fascists.

The Italian model of Fascism (which is distinct from national socialism) involved a corporatist political system in which economy was collectively managed by employers, workers and state officials by formal mechanisms at national level. Now, as I see things, this is exactly what we have in this country - in the here and now. Fascism is not dependant on race as Hitlers National socialism was. So to that end, what are the UAF fighting against, and what are they for?

I have not really taken much notice of the UAF - I have been trying very hard to keep my head above water to care - however, it really made my blood boil when placards with "We're all Hezboalla now" were displayed against Israel during the recent wars in Lebanon and Gaza. Although these people do not have the strenght in numbers, yet, it reminds me of the way the Iranian revolution gained traction during the 1970's. Once upon a time there was a socialist movement in Iran and they made a pact with the devil and lost. The socialists were so brainwashed with their ideology that they fail to see in the real life game of Top Trumps : That a belief out trumps an ideology.

Collectivists love collectivists, don't they? Didn't Stalin make a pact with Hitler. Radical (Fascistic, Saria Law, Jew hating, homophobic, intollerant, Arab supremacist) Islam is not like any other religion. One of the main contributors to the Islamist movement (Sayyid Qutb - the Muslim thinker with the Hitler moustache) effectively transposed the Quo'ran into the thoughts of Marx and Engels. It is this ideology that is driving the 21st century Jihad with all its 7th Century barbarism.

I seek the truth, I used to watch every home-made video on the net that purported to document the most unsavory elements of human behaviour. The "snuff film" was the holy grail - for people like myself (born in the late 1960's). With the advent of the internet these films became ten a penny. I have no love of violence, I seek the truth in all its ugliness. The Islamic world has cornered the market for the amateur Broadcasting of brutal murders for irrational reasons other than to TERRORISE non violent people.

So we actually live in a Corporatist (Fascist) country NOW and the UAF are being sponsored by the Corporative Fascist Government and the Opposition party to boot. This same organisation is "fighting" a group of people who are "protesting" against an Islamist movement that sees the world in terms of believer and non believer in the same way that the Aparthied movement organised South Africa.

UAF are the Usefull idiots are not they?

Some British judges really don't get it, do they?

This story comes from Old Holborn

This lunacy is beyond parody. Nobody could make up stuff like this.

The dingbat in the picture insists that littering is a far worse crime than assault or theft and wants fines for litter to be double those imposed on violent yobs. He believes he's in charge of the country, too. Oh, and he's fond of the environmentalists' idea of how science should be done:

'But environmental crime, if established, strikes not only at a locality and its population but in some measure too at the planet and its future. Nobody should be allowed to doubt its seriousness.'

Thou shalt not question the Green God. Question His Word and thou shalt end thy days in the carbon-capture Green Heretic Burner.


Consider this, next time you are approached by the smug and loathsome face of a council busybody.

If you drop litter, it'll cost you £600.

If you drop the officious git, it'll cost you less than half that. In fact, you can pound him twice and it's still cheaper than the fine for dropping litter. Plus you have the satisfaction of seeing him point you out in court through two black eyes.

Don't drop that cigarette. Stub it out on a council official. It'll save you money.